Many members of the Kaposvár Group 2 are facing major changes: some are preparing their thesis/portfolio for the final examination of the next academic year and then submitting their application for a master’s degree; some are working hard on their high school graduation exams for the best results to get into their chosen university with good grades; some have auditioned or will audition in the near future in the field of musical arts; and some will be able to find employment in their profession in the Somogy county seat after obtaining an excellent vocational certificate.
Thus, the youth of the group are facing a great change. The younger ones certainly view this as a form of development, but how do the parents experience this change? What impact will this change have on family functioning? This is what we reflected on together, of course once again in a slightly different, more informal form that we love: within the framework of a Bibliotherapy training session in the early evening hours of May 29, at the final Parents’ Academy of this academic year.
The “master of ceremonies” of the meeting was Ildikó Árok-Vörös, who, as a parent and bibliotherapy developer, has already held training-type sessions for her fellow parents on several occasions. We really love working and thinking together with Ildi, let the topic be… practically anything. This time, the broader topic was the effects of the changing family structure and framework, focusing on questions such as what poses a difficulty in our parental roles in our current life situation; how do we experience changes, and what does letting go mean to us? It is very difficult to write about this and summarize it, due to the development of very personal, very deep, and honest conversations.
What was said built all of us up from a spiritual point of view; a kind of (secret) alliance was also formed between us, along with the recognition that we are together in our diversity, together in “the same shoes,” in the parental role. Our worries, joys, fears, plans, and desires for the future appeared in a colorful way in the accounts of the participants. The changes occurring in our children’s lives affect us, making it inevitable for us to adapt well and wisely to the new situations. We also think of each other as support, and we took with us those heavy, or right away incredibly simple and true sentences that we can even hold onto in the future, recalling them in our more difficult moments.
The Parents’ Academy concluded with answers to the question: what are you taking with you? Here are a few thoughts that can only faintly reflect the great experience that we, parents, were able to live through together.
What parent Szilvia Szabó took with her, therefore: “A parent is responsible for their child. They must nurture and care for not only their body but also their soul. This is never simple for a parent. There are joyful moments and there are indeed difficult, trying situations.” But as Fredrik Backman said: “…a parent’s job: to be a shoulder where children can sit when they are small to see the world, stand on when they are older to reach the clouds, and from time to time lean on when they feel uncertain. They trust us, while we are crushed by the responsibility…”
Parent Andrea Nagy summarized her thoughts like this: “Motherhood is a shoe that is sometimes a comfortable slipper, sometimes a tight vise, but a completely gorgeous 10 cm stiletto. We know where it pinches, how it hurts, but we wear it, only to rest our feet every now and then in that well-known, endlessly worn, loved, and threadbare slipper.”
Perhaps the pictures in the Gallery tell even more about the atmosphere…
